Ambrose Bierce...

I was looking for sa particular homily of St. Ambrose, but stumbled across the following from Ambrose Bierce which is too good not to share...

SACRAMENT, n. A solemn religious ceremony to which several degrees of authority and significance are attached. Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity. Some of the smaller sects have no sacraments at all -- for which mean economy they will indubitable [sic] be damned.

From The Devil's Dictionary